Our school doesn’t even exist any more after a 2019 merger, but when we recently learnt he was still teaching at the merged school, well into his 70s, we decided to pay tribute to his dedication to teaching.
It’s funny how we never realised he was a favourite among us, until now. After scribbling down personal messages for him in a cafe where we last gathered in August, we the class of 92S4 whipped out a gigantic cake and celebrated our 50th birthday milestone together.
We sang the birthday song not just once, but three times. Celebrations are always more fun in the presence of so many “partners in crime”.
In today’s digital age, birthday greetings are often delivered through text messages and voice notes. Tech advancements may have made communication easier, but nothing can beat the joy and laughter from interacting face to face with old friends as we revel in shared memories of the past and enjoy new experiences together.
This year being the half-century mark of my existence on earth, I made it a point to celebrate in person with two groups of classmates – primary school and junior college – simply because we are all the same age.
Primary school was a long time ago and a few of us went to the same secondary school where lifelong friendship bonds are typically formed and developed separately. What binds us together is our common background of being kampung kids made good, and it’s heartening to see how far we have come in our respective careers. Our school does not exist any more, but memories live on in the people we attended it with.
Two years of JC flew by quickly, most of it spent mugging for the A levels, but somehow we still created enough fond memories to last a lifetime. We may not be one another’s closest friends, but we still find value and joy in occasional meetups and asking: “How have you been?”
What’s amazing is how we can look beyond the wrinkles, receding hairlines and extra kilos piled on, and recognise the teenagers we were when we first met. We have all aged with time, but we can still pick up strands of conversation as if it were yesterday, and it does not feel awkward at all.
As teenagers, we used to rave about music and movies and complain about difficult maths problems. Now at 50, we find comfort in knowing we are not alone in facing issues such as knee pain, stress from working with Gen Zs, and parenting wayward children.
Showing off? No
I know what you’re thinking. Many people shun class gatherings for two reasons. First, the fear of getting judged on your life achievements (or lack of), and second, worries of someone trying to sell you insurance. And is there any point in catching up with people whom you have not met in such a long time?
A social media post I saw asked: Would you attend your class gathering if all your secondary friends are high-fliers in their careers and live in landed property or condominiums, but you are a private-hire vehicle driver living in a two-room Build-To-Order flat for singles?
Some people replied “why not?”, others said they would not attend if they had nothing in common and the purpose was to show off.
I also remember the visible stress on my Korean husband’s face whenever he has to attend a class gathering in Seoul, where we lived for eight years until 2023. The Koreans often make this an exercise in trying to outflaunt and outdrink one another.
But I am happy to report that bragging and flaunting is the last thing we do when the willing members of 92S4 gather. There is also no stress involved, just a lot of laughter.
It’s not that we don’t have anything to flex – among us is an architect, a crisis management pro, a software consultant, and an aviation specialist. There are frequent fliers among us too. Two are living in Australia, one in China, another two recently relocated home – one from South Korea (me), one from Finland.
But no one boasts. There is a complete lack of pretence at these gatherings. We let down our guard and open our hearts. We can have honest conversations even on difficult topics such as the war atrocities in Gaza and how different countries integrate foreigners. We ask questions, we argue, and we walk away with no hard feelings. Perhaps it’s good for one’s mental well-being to speak freely and listen with an open mind.
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Magic of nostalgia
There is also a certain pleasure in revelling in the memories of yesteryear, when life was simpler.
Call it the magic of nostalgia – gathering with old friends brings us back to the carefree days when we were 17 years old, and evokes warm, fuzzy feelings. We studied hard, but we played hard too – dinner at Lau Pa Sat after school, hanging out at classmates’ homes, and swimming on weekends.
A group photo of class 92S4 taken in the campus of the junior college that is no longer in use today. The writer is seated in the front row, third from right. ST PHOTO: CHANG MAY CHOON
We had some cool kids in our batch. Both prom king and queen were from our class, and we had talented football players who also goofed around posing for the camera.
It was not easy to keep in touch after graduation. It was only in 2023, upon my return from Seoul, that we started to gather at least once a year.
“Eh, I haven’t seen you in 30 years!” was a common refrain the first time we gathered. Now, we have people saying we should gather more often.
The timing is good too. Any earlier, those of us with young children may not be able to slip out without the spouse’s “permission”.
For our last gathering in August, which was a last-minute decision, our aviation specialist said: “Let me apply for my exit permit, it usually needs three business days, but I will seek exemption because we are 50!”
Twenty minutes later, his wife gave her blessing as she felt it was, as he put it: “good for my mental health”.
He explained in person later that he does not have many friends outside of work, so his wife felt it would be good for him to join us to de-stress.
Our gatherings are in some ways a healing session. We get sucked into a time warp where nothing else matters, other than the company, the food and a lot of nostalgia. And we feel like teenagers again, reminiscing about the silly things we did in our youth, such as jumping into a quarry on Pulau Ubin that “hurt like hell”.
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Days and years can fly by quickly in working life. Such gatherings remind you not to lose yourself and to cherish people who accept you as you are, and to thank those you never did.
If we can find our other teachers, maybe we should write them cards too. I didn’t get to see our physics teacher when I delivered the card to the school, but he did send me a text message after that.
“Such a nice card from your class,” he said. “Thank you for all those kind words. Take care.”
Chang May Choon is assistant foreign editor at The Straits Times. She is in charge of the foreign desk’s multimedia coverage and has a special interest in South Korea.
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