celebrate women success

In many parts of Europe, multicoloured chaos reigns across the country. Crowds swaddle bouquets made of an assortment of flowers in their arms – a tableau of pink, orange and yellow hues.

The occasion is International Women’s Day and it’s celebrated by all – men and women alike give flowers to their wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters and daughters.

When we think about inspirational women, our minds often jump to those who have achieved great things – scaling mountains and running marathons, winning awards or becoming chief executives of companies and heads of state. 

Of the inspirational women I’ve met, the ones who have left the deepest impression and most profound impact are those who have thrived despite all odds, marked by their resilience in the face of adversity.

Flourishing takes many forms, and “greatness” isn’t just measured by accolades or external validation. There are battles fought behind closed doors and there is strength in carrying on when the world isn’t watching.

It’s important that we take a moment to recognise not just women whose successes are widely celebrated, but also those whose impact is felt in ways that never make the headlines.

Finding joy despite the odds

Auntie Joanne, a close family friend, is a mother of four children, one of whom has autism. She serves as the main caregiver as her husband is often based overseas for work – cooking and doing the laundry, picking the kids up from school and ferrying them to their extracurriculars, and tending to their academic and emotional needs. 

She always goes the extra mile in making them feel loved and appreciated, be it remembering how they like their sambal chilli made, or organising a barbecue for their birthday. 

Several years ago, Auntie Joanne, who is 53, was diagnosed with a non-typical variant of myasthenia, a condition that weakens the muscles in her body and causes bouts of fatigue that leave her bedridden for days. 

Despite battling sickness, Auntie Joanne has never once begrudged her condition or wallowed in self-pity. To regain her muscle mass, she began practising pilates. Recently, she even participated in the 3km Walk of a Lifetime for charity, aimed at raising awareness about autism and to support families affected by this. “I am not a victim of life circumstances, but rather, a participant of life’s greater narrative,” she insisted.

Beyond her role as a mother, Auntie Joanne is involved in her church community, volunteering alongside her husband as marriage mentors, sharing their journey in faith with other couples. When you speak to her, she always has a smile on her face. She often shares that she wishes to be a light to the world, using her life to be a blessing to those around her. 

“Life is unpredictable and full of challenges, but I have a choice to respond with positivity and make a difference in my family and the community I live in,” she said. “I remind myself every day I am created beautiful – mind, body and soul – and I am so grateful.”

Through Auntie Joanne, I’ve realised that flourishing does not need grand gestures or elaborate acts. It means coming into your element, being content with your station in life, and finding joy despite the harsh realities and bitterness of life.

Flourishing regardless of relationship status

Despite all the progress we’ve made since women’s suffrage, there are still societies with gendered expectations of women as well as men. Women have historically understood their identities as daughters, wives and mothers, and spend much of their lives growing into these roles and fulfilling these duties.

As a result of these societal pressures to define yourself by your relational identities, there is often shame in being unpartnered. Single women past a certain age are constantly urged and prodded to get married. Sayings such as “being left on the shelf” or “past your prime” apply predominantly to women, instead of men.

Yet as younger generations of women become more educated and empowered, they are refusing to settle for anything less than an equal and emotionally attuned partnership.

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Take 35-year-old Amanda Chong, lawyer, poet and playwright. “As you get into your 30s, you gradually get the impression that there are two broad categories of women that seem to be recognised in the world – you’re either a mother with children, or you’re this hyper-successful, slightly intimidating, overachieving single lady,” she said.

”However, such polarities are unhelpful to women’s understanding of themselves, and they shrink the space for women to exist as complex human beings with a gamut of aspirations.” 

Amanda is single and believes a person’s relationship status is the least interesting thing about them. She asks: “Why is there this idea that if you are unmarried and don’t have children, you must overcompensate by being over-qualified in your career or some other dimension in life?

“Is it because society has conditioned us to base our self-worth on hitting all these ‘marks of womanhood’ and if we fail to, we must demonstrate our purpose in another way?”

Lawyer and playwright Amanda Chong with her primary school projects, including plays she and her classmates wrote and produced. ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO

For Amanda, archetypes that we feel we have to conform to invite unhealthy comparisons. The fact is, there is no template for flourishing, because we are all such different people with unique gifts and life experiences. 

She noted there are a multitude of ways to flourish beyond being simply defined by relationship status, as many women’s lives are rich with deep friendships, close familial ties and children they nurture, such as nieces and nephews.

For generations, many women have felt compelled to be in toxic and unequal relationships due to social pressure. As a society, we might be better off with women who are truly thriving regardless of their relationship status, more certain of what they want and grounded in what they stand for. These women are far more likely to enter into mutually uplifting relationships, should that be an aspiration they hold.

Boldly striding out on the path less taken

Nanyang Girls’ High, the all-girls secondary school I went to, organised a conference titled “Bold and Beyond” for its students, exploring the ways women and girls can embark on unconventional ventures and the path less travelled. It made me think about my experiences growing up as a young woman, and the occasions where I denied myself opportunities that arose because I was unsure of myself or too afraid.

This makes me in awe of women who have dared to be bold and to go beyond. One such woman is Ms Rachel Lim, co-founder of the flagship fashion brand Love Bonito, who dropped out of university and broke her teaching bond with the Government to dedicate herself to growing her business full-time. “It was scary because I was giving up something so secure, to do something so volatile,” she recalled.

Yet her leap of faith has paid dividends, turning her humble blog shop into a multimillion-dollar business and a leading brand name in Asia’s fashion industry. “I’ve taken my life as a series of experiments, while balancing the risks and rewards,” said the 38-year-old. “To me, regret weighs heavier than trying and failing. If I fall, I pick myself up and try again.” 

To Rachel, flourishing means being able to show up fully as who she is, embracing the diversity of roles that she has as an entrepreneur, a fashion maven, a wife and the mother of two children, without feeling the need to shrink or fragment herself.

“It’s about having the courage to live authentically and the discipline to grow intentionally,” she said.

Ms Rachel Lim, co-founder of fashion brand Love Bonito, dropped out of university and broke her teaching bond with the Government to dedicate herself to growing her business full-time. PHOTO: LOVE BONITO

Authenticity lies in acknowledging our dispositions, and realising our priorities may vary across the seasons in our lives. This, in turn, requires deep self-awareness and introspection.

Success propelled by passion versus success driven by expectation looks and feels distinct. “There is so much distraction around what I need to be, what I need to achieve, what I need to work as,” she mused. “We need to tune out the noise and tune into the small still voice as to what makes us feel alive, what brings us joy, what makes us truly feel fulfilled.”

As women, we should embrace our strengths and take pride in our femininity – a word that holds different meanings for different individuals. I see women as blooms – petals that spread out towards the sunlight, colours stretching across entire fields. The stories of these three women convey that flourishing takes many forms, far beyond the narrow definitions of success imposed by society.

It’s time to broaden our notions and perceptions of what a “full” and “fulfilled” life as a woman is like, and make a toast to women for their varied passions, desires and expressions of self. Let us celebrate women of all ages, shades, shapes and sizes and see them for the full spectrum of their talents.

Faye Ng Yu Ci is a junior doctor in the Singapore public healthcare system.

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change personality

I like to think that I’m a very different person now from who I was in my youth. There are still the occasional discomfiting and cringeworthy moments that catch me unaware and remind me of that younger callow self who now seems like a stranger. With the passage of time, I know I have changed, but without quite fully understanding how, when and why. I doubt if we would ever know everything about the past or anything about the future, but there are some who think artificial intelligence (AI) can predict what we will become. 

Among the expanding list of AI’s capabilities is its ability to interact and converse with us – which could even make people fall in love with chatbots. Recently, a laboratory at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology created a programme called Future You. It is a web-based platform that prompts participants to answer a series of questions about themselves and then builds a version of them 20 years in the future with whom they can have a conversation. According to the official website, the lab developed this tool after being inspired by studies on “self-continuity”.

Continuers and dividers

This human phenomenon of self-continuity is the connection between who we were, who we are now, and who we expect to become. Self-continuity plays a significant role in our long-term well-being – bolstering mental health and emotional resilience. Additionally, having an idea of where we could end up years later could motivate us to shape our lives in ways that make good sense for our future. 

Studies indicate that some people – whether they realise it or not – keep very much in character throughout the different stages of their lives. These individuals are known as “continuers”. In contrast, there are “dividers”, who are “consistent in their inconsistency”. They feel they don’t have a consistent identity because they keep changing. The trajectory of their life unfolds in discrete, even fractured, segments, each defined by its own set of attitudes, circumstances and relationships.

What drives these divergent ways of living is our personality, which is, in dry academic parlance, that “complex and stable set of traits, behaviours, emotions, and thought patterns that define how an individual interacts with the world”. In psychiatry, we often encounter certain types of “continuers” – individuals with abnormal personalities whose traits have either made themselves or others miserable.

A classic example of the latter is narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals with this disorder have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, considering themselves special and expecting admiration and special treatment. They easily become enraged when others seem to have the temerity to criticise them, often turning vindictive and vengeful. They crave success, status and power at any cost, displaying what we call the “triple E”: entitlement, exploitation, and a lack of empathy. Due to their lack of self-awareness, they are unlikely to seek help. Instead, it is the people living with them who suffer and sometimes end up seeking our help – as in the instance of a middle-aged woman who sought treatment for depression after years of an unhappy marriage to a man who appeared to be a textbook case of a narcissist. He disdainfully refused to consider couple therapy and insisted his wife “sort out” her own problems. 

After undergoing months of psychotherapy to clarify her thoughts and feelings about the relationship, she decided to leave her husband. When I saw her some time after her separation from him, it was like meeting a new person who had emerged from a metamorphosis. She regretted not having done it earlier, but she wasn’t brave enough or clear-eyed enough back then to see how her marriage had been harming her as a person. She was grateful that the therapy made her a different person with a different life.

Most of us, at some point in our imperfect lives, would wish to change something about ourselves. Unhappy, embarrassed, burdened, or corralled by who we are, we want a transformation – to be better, more respected, more courageous, and be less miserable if not happier. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister described these desires arising from dissatisfaction as “crystallisation of discontent” – when the realisation of our shortcomings pushes us to adjust some of our core values and priorities. Implicit is the hope that we can change some aspects of our personality. But how mutable is our personality?

According to Professor Brent Roberts, a psychologist at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and an expert on personality change, personality is not “set like plaster” as the 19th-century psychologist William James asserted, but rather it can change in many ways over time. He has shown that with committed effort, it could be possible to nudge our personality in a direction that we desire.

Prof Roberts and others found in several studies that personality traits can be modified, sometimes within just a few weeks. For example, students who dedicated more effort to their coursework exhibited increased conscientiousness, and those who strategically selected extracurricular activities developed some semblance of leadership qualities. While these findings seem promising, their effects were modest. The changes that occurred over the short course of a semester led to measurable but not dramatic changes in personality. What is also not known is whether these changes are enduring.

In fact, many individuals struggle to achieve their goals of changing because they think it will be fast and easy. They often set overly ambitious targets and want a fast fix. Just as thought patterns, emotions and behaviours take years to form, changing them is a glacial and difficult process, not something that can be achieved quickly like completing a college project. It also requires a questioning consciousness as we navigate our life with certain priorities in mind, asking ourselves why we are doing it, what we should do, and who we should do it with. The process can be spurred by life’s challenges, and suffering losses and heartbreaks.

A different life

Who I am today has been the result of accruing different experiences and relationships in my life to this point. In that sense, I suppose I am more of a “divider” who can be changed by circumstances, people and the choices I’ve made. And as I advance in age, I am expecting further changes. 

Recent research suggests that our personality continues to evolve well into later adulthood, with notable shifts occurring as people reach and move beyond their 60s. On average, older adults tend to become less open to experiences while anxiety increases, particularly in advanced old age. One possible explanation for this is the ageing brain and its accompanying changes, such as cognitive decline and the onset of dementia, though they are probably not the main factors. Health and social support may play a more significant role in shaping personality changes.

As a doctor and researcher, I am familiar with the age-associated declines in cognitive functioning, particularly in mental processing speed, problem-solving, and short- and long-term memory (generally, memory functions begin to decline in our 30s and continue to fade into old age). Conversely, one can become more distracted in old age and we cannot focus on and stay with a mental task as keenly as we could when we were young. Our worries about the risks of falling and facing accidents can also make us more anxious and timorous. Understandably, this can lead to a constriction of social activities, isolating us and making us feel lonely.

But maybe that’s too pessimistic and gloomy. It could simply be that we change because we recalibrate our goals and prioritise what is most meaningful. Perhaps we are less open to seeking new experiences because we enjoy and appreciate familiar routines. It’s possible that we reduce social engagement because we are content with our existing relationships. These adjustments may stem from adapting to the inevitable physical and mental limitations that come with age and do not indicate a degraded quality of life – just a different one that can still be equally satisfactory.

I certainly hope that’s how it will be for me. I do not want to rage against the light, but neither do I want to go whimpering. And it is tempting to have a chat with my Future You character and see if he is as wise, equanimous and unafraid as I would like to be.

Professor Chong Siow Ann is a senior consultant psychiatrist at the Institute of Mental Health.

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parenting

SINGAPORE – When children in MOE Kindergarten @ Springdale encounter a problem, they reflect on it to determine if it is a small, medium or big one.

They have learnt that small problems can often be solved independently; medium ones may require some assistance from peers or adults; and big problems need the involvement of an adult to ensure safety.

This “Size of the Problem” concept aims to help children develop problem-solving skills, says its centre head, Madam Nur Hidayah Jamari.

“For a small problem, like not wanting to share a toy, children are encouraged to talk to their friends and negotiate taking turns,” she says.

For a medium problem, such as a peer using unkind words multiple times, children can express their feelings using phrases such as “stop, I don’t like it.”

For a big problem, such as witnessing unsafe behaviour like climbing furniture, children are taught to seek help from an adult immediately, she adds.

Teachers teach this concept through stories and provide opportunities for children to practise their problem-solving skills.

“By supporting them to reflect on their problems, children make better choices when situations occur,” she says.

1. Creative problem-solving

Why it is important

Being able to think of creative ways to solve a problem helps children approach challenges with confidence, says Madam Hidayah.

Children encounter problems daily, from resolving conflicts to tackling challenging tasks.

If parents start nurturing their children’s ability to solve problems creatively from a young age, it empowers them to think independently and make informed decisions, says Madam Hidayah.

“This skill enhances their ability to collaborate effectively and adapt to different situations,” she adds.

Children will be able to analyse situations, generate multiple solutions and evaluate the best course of action, she adds. “These skills are transferable and will benefit children throughout their lives, whether they are working on a group project, resolving conflicts or navigating their careers as adults.”

Help your child develop it 

Encourage your child to think of multiple solutions when he or she encounters a problem by asking open-ended questions, suggests Madam Hidayah.

For example, parents can ask questions such as “what do you think we can do about this?” or “can you come up with another way to solve this problem?”

Parents can also lead by example, by verbalising their thought process when addressing everyday challenges.

Another way is to reinforce the importance of collaboration by engaging in group activities that require teamwork and shared decision-making.

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2. Positive attitude towards learning

Why it is important

A positive learning attitude is made up of 3Ps: perspiration (effort), patience and perseverance, says Mrs Sharon Siew, principal of Jing Shan Primary School.

With these qualities, children will have an advantage in learning. They will be more motivated to understand and master new concepts, and be more likely to explore topics of interest, says the principal of 17 years.

There are also benefits in non-academic areas. Children with a positive learning mindset will be curious about the world and have empathy, says Mrs Siew.

The young ones, having gained awareness of real-world issues, such as environmental conservation, may be inspired to serve the community, she adds.

Help your child develop it

Children learn by observing their parents, so parents can show enthusiasm for learning; and patience and persistence when solving problems, says Mrs Siew.

To emphasise that effort is important, encourage a child to tackle challenges with determination from a young age, such as not giving up when working on a puzzle.

When a child struggles, remind him that persistence is key to success, she adds.

Parents can say something like this: “Remember how long it took you to ride your bicycle? You kept trying and now you’re great at it.”

Parents can also share with their child the mistakes they made and how they tried again and did better.

3. Resilience

Why it is important

Life will not always be a bed of roses. So, when a child is faced with a setback – for instance, disappointment over examination results – one who is resilient will be able to view the disappointment as a way to grow.

Contrast this with a less resilient child, who may see the results as a reflection of his ability, and adopt a pessimistic attitude, says Ms Jana Dawson, deputy chief executive of The School of Positive Psychology.

Ms Dawson says resilience is critical for children’s long-term well-being as it helps them to handle setbacks in a constructive way.

This helps them adapt when things do not go as planned.

Resilience fosters a mindset of improvement over perfection.

“For example, in situations like disappointment over results, resilience enables children to process their emotions, understand the value of effort over outcomes, and stay optimistic about the future,” she says.

With this skill, children are less likely to internalise setbacks as failures and come to recognise that their potential and worth are not defined by any single result.

They are better able to manage stress, adapt to changes and remain hopeful.

“Ultimately, resilience supports their mental health, enhances their sense of control and empowers them to approach life with courage,” says Ms Dawson.

Help your child develop it 

When a child encounters challenges, parents can help him consider alternative viewpoints by asking questions like: “Is there another way to see this?”

If a child responds with, “I’m not good at anything”, parents can guide him to reflect on his strengths in other areas, acknowledging the difficulty of the current task.

Viewing situations differently helps a child broaden his thinking and challenge assumptions.

Parents can help their child identify and develop his strengths. One way is through the Values in Action (VIA) survey by non-profit organisation VIA Institute on Character that can be found on its website.

Another way is to teach a child the importance of taking breaks, exercising and socialising.

Parents can also help the young one find daily “slices of joy”. This includes activities that make him feel positive and refreshed, such as hobbies or spending time with loved ones.

Regularly including moments of joy helps maintain emotional balance.

“Normalising failures and hardships as growth opportunities is key to resilience,” says Ms Dawson.

Encourage children to think of multiple solutions when they encounter a problem by asking open-ended questions. PHOTO: MOE KINDERGARTEN @ SPRINGDALE

4. Confidence

Why it is important

One of the key traits children need to thrive in modern society is confidence and the ensuing self-esteem, says Dr Mercy Karuniah Jesuvadian, a senior lecturer in psychology and child and human development from the National Institute of Education.

Confident children can communicate their thoughts and feelings to venture out of comfort zones, which is key to creativity and innovation, she adds.

“Without confidence, a child cannot fully participate as an equal member in his peer groups or problem-solve,” says Dr Jesuvadian.

Help your child develop it 

It could start with something as simple as letting a child share his thoughts on people, events and happenings freely.

Dr Jesuvadian encourages parents to get their child to share his opinions with people other than familiar adults.

Teach the child how to ask questions politely when he is unsure. This skill will lessen anxiety in a new place as he can ask for help when needed.

Give the child the space to think through simple problems. For example, parents can get him to choose and hang decorations for Chinese New Year.

“When things don’t stay up on the wall, ask the child why. Get him to figure things out,” she suggests.

Another way is to discuss events in the news. Ask the child for his opinion and to tell you how and why he thinks that way.

Confidence is also built on the nature of feedback. Parents need to respond positively even if the child’s effort has failed, says Dr Jesuvadian. “Show where the child has gone wrong (demonstrate), get the child to redo it and provide constructive comments. Try not to dictate your child’s actions,” she adds.

5. Emotional regulation skills

Why it is important

Developing emotional regulation skills helps children manage big feelings, says Ms Jacinth Liew, a former teacher turned parenting coach at Our Little Play Nest.

This could come in the form of disappointment when they are not selected for the school team, sadness when their friends ignore them at recess or envy when other classmates get the newest electronic games.

A pre-schooler who can regulate his emotions will be able to tell his friends, “I will pass it to you when I am done”, instead of shouting or snatching the toys back.

Or, if he is hungry, he is able to tell his parents, “I want to eat more”, instead of throwing tantrums.

Help your child develop it 

A key to helping a child better manage his emotions is for the parent to be in control of his or her own emotions.

“When that happens, parents send a powerful message: ‘I’m not afraid of your big feelings, and you don’t need to be afraid of them either.’ This helps them feel safe and supported,” she says.

The calm that parents exude also becomes contagious – through the activation of their child’s mirror neurons, specialised brain cells that mimic the emotions and behaviours he observes.

A common mistake parents make is when they feel a need to stop their child’s crying as quickly as possible.

Says Ms Liew: “By doing so, we are robbing children of the chance to practise modulating their emotions.”

Normalise and validate all feelings rather than sweep a child’s emotions under the carpet.

Parents can teach some simple coping skills, like deep breathing, counting to 10 or rating the child’s feelings on a scale of one to 10.

Alternatively, calm a child down by holding his hand or offering a comforting hug.

“Physical touch can help release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of security and calm,” says Ms Liew.

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how to be redundant

We have all heard about professionals who suddenly find themselves struggling to excel after years in stable, high-paying jobs and, ultimately, losing their positions. Or relatively new entrants into the job market who find their qualifications already obsolete. 

This new era of dynamic changes in technology requires constant upgrading of job skills. However, despite efforts to upskill the global workforce by 2025, nearly 60 per cent of workers will still require further training to remain relevant. In Singapore, this figure is even higher at 70 per cent.

The World Economic Forum (WEF) has warned that this skills gap will persist. And in a WEF panel discussion in January, our President, Mr Tharman Shanmugaratnam, noted the looming global skills mismatch, which occurs when people cannot find jobs despite completing tertiary education.

He called on both employers and governments to invest in training for workers right now and not wait till workers are displaced by new technologies, including artificial intelligence (AI).

Yet, employer support for upskilling or re-skilling is not guaranteed. Up to 11 per cent of the global workforce – especially those in roles losing relevance – face the risk of becoming unemployable.

What causes them to fall into the irrelevance trap? More importantly, what measures could prevent their downfall?

Don’t resist change, but adapt

With disruption intensifying across economic, geopolitical, consumer and technological domains, business leaders are accelerating transformation efforts to adapt to the new environment. Research suggests that up to one-third of large organisations are transforming at any given time, leading to job creation, redesign or elimination.

I spoke to a range of professionals who have been involved or affected by this. Janice has experienced four large-scale transformations as a process re-engineering director driving the changes, which involves redesigning existing business processes to improve efficiency. 

She said: “Since the 2000s, organisations have pursued massive transformations. However, such ‘revolutionary’ approaches often had high failure rates. Today, companies are opting for smaller, frequent steps forward.”

Janice has this advice for workers: “While employees may face constant change, these shifts can be seen as opportunities to refresh their skills.” 

As an executive coach working with leaders worldwide to remain agile amid all the changes, I have observed their efforts to keep teams intact and protect jobs. However, when pressures mount from all directions, leaving no-one behind is not always an option.

Ricky, a seasoned head of sales at a global IT company, told me: “Skill sets don’t become completely obsolete, but they must be regularly updated to stay relevant. Those with a growth mindset and a commitment to lifelong learning will find the workforce more rewarding.”

He added: “For those who resist change, tough decisions become inevitable.” 

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Well-equipped leaders can make a big difference

While employees must take ownership of their upskilling, leaders set the tone.

Poor leadership during times of change can leave employees frustrated and disengaged.

Celeste, a middle manager in financial services, echoed the frustrations of some workers when she told me: “Another reorganisation? All these changes are so poorly communicated that we’ve lost sight of the purpose. The flip-flop decisions and lack of follow-through aren’t helping.”

When leaders are ill-prepared to guide change, the consequences extend beyond missed business targets. Change fatigue and loss of meaning in work become real concerns.

On the other hand, well-equipped leaders can inspire and empower their teams.

Lam, a team leader at a cyber security company, said: “My manager excelled at communicating early and clearly. That transparency reduced suspicion, and once we believed the change was achievable, we became more committed. Having a say in the process strengthened our motivation to learn and adapt.” 

Trust and psychological safety

For change initiatives to succeed, leaders must create environments where employees feel safe to make mistakes, learn and grow. This demands that leaders themselves be equipped with the right competencies to foster such a culture.

Two critical competencies stand out: trust and psychological safety. For example, Janice noted: “Trust is the biggest factor. Employees need time to adjust to new job roles, learn new skills and become proficient. It’s easier to follow a leader they trust. 

“When trust in leadership erodes, defensive behaviours emerge and organisations break apart from within.”

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Beyond trust, employees must feel safe to take risks. Research has defined employee psychological safety as a shared belief that taking interpersonal risks at work is safe.

Through research, I found that organisations that encourage open communication and learning without fear of failure foster continuous innovation.

A McKinsey study found that 85 per cent of executives admit fear of failure stifles innovation, with fear of criticism ranking as the top concern. 

In Singapore, this aligns with our cultural fear of losing face. To drive meaningful change, leaders must acknowledge these emotional responses and address them – not just with logic, but with empathy. 

My research also highlighted how a leader’s response to mistakes can intensify or reduce fear of failure. That is why organisations must foster a no-blame culture balanced with a sense of healthy accountability, so employees feel safe to experiment and learn new skills. Clear communication, active listening and leading by example are essential. 

Encouraging structured reflection on mistakes helps teams develop a fail-forward mindset, turning setbacks into learning opportunities. Additionally, leaders must be able to inspire a compelling vision, as studies on organisational creativity suggest that progress in meaningful work strengthens resilience, enabling employees to persist through challenges like skill acquisition.

Embracing skills evolution

While many professionals recognise the need to stay relevant, some remain hesitant, constrained by self-limiting beliefs such as “I’m too old to learn new skills”, or “My education should have prepared me for life”.

But the reality is clear: Skills evolution is unavoidable.

Industrial revolutions are accelerating at an unprecedented pace. The first lasted 80 years, the third 50 years, and now, while we are still in the fourth, experts predict the fifth industrial revolution is already under way.

Technological advancements will continue to reshape industries and jobs, making adaptability more critical than ever.

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Trying to navigate these rapid transformations can be overwhelming. However, when leaders build learning ecosystems and cultivate organisations centred on continuous development, the burden of adaptation becomes a shared effort.

Once employees no longer struggle in isolation, but instead become part of a collective movement towards progress, then the vision of leaving no person behind can become a reality.

Yeo Chuen Chuen is the founder of ACESENCE Agile Leadership and the author of Leaders People Love, an agile leader’s guide to creating great workplaces and happy employees.

trump to resign

The world will be watching as US President Donald Trump sits with Russian President Vladimir Putin soon in Saudi Arabia, in what is expected to birth the deal of the century as both sides seek a resolution to the nearly-three-year war in Ukraine.

A key question is whether Mr Trump can be counted on to safeguard Ukraine’s interests. Concerns are swirling that he could “sell out” the country and push for a compromise with Mr Putin.

Ukraine aside, nowhere is that fear of getting played out by the superpowers more keenly felt than on the Korean peninsula, where similarly, one country was ripped apart during the Cold War.

With one part under the US sphere of influence and the other under Russia’s, the two Koreas again risk becoming pawns in a proxy fight between the princes.

Both are worried that in Mr Trump’s and Mr Putin’s desire to strike a broader deal, their interests will end up sacrificed.

In Pyongyang, risks of getting ditched grow

Across Asia, as allies and trading partners to the US in Asia scramble to deal with an announced framework for US reciprocal tariffs, it is Mr Kim Jong Un who will give undivided attention to the grand bargain on Ukraine being hashed out.

After all, he might just get ditched by a resurgent Russia which, despite its historical ties to North Korea as communist comrades-in-arms, has growing relations with an expanding number of countries in Eurasia and Africa through the Brics grouping.

North Korea survives by dint of support from its superpower friends. And after decades of reliance on China for food, fuel and fertiliser, and a Covid-19 wake-up call on the need to diversify support after China closed borders and aid supplies, Pyongyang struck gold in 2024. 

A strategic partnership with Russia gave it heft in influencing international affairs and bolstered North Korea’s sense of security. It resulted in a defence pact, security cooperation as well as valuable battlefield experience and foreign currency as it supplied ammunition, soldiers and more to Russia.

For a while, even if thousands of its men were getting killed in Ukraine, North Korea appeared a somewhat credible military force capable of projecting chaos globally. But despite that strong tailwind, the North Korea of today is not the same pressing security threat to the US as it was in 2017 – when it ran nuclear tests, first developed the ability to launch an intercontinental ballistic missile, and explicitly proclaimed an intention of firing one at US bases in Guam.

In 2017, outgoing president Barack Obama flagged North Korea as the most urgent problem facing the US to his successor, Mr Trump. But in 2025, North Korea has lost that aura. Its position as a client state reliant on superpower patronage creates more vulnerabilities than strengths.

As a threat in the Indo-Pacific, the hermit kingdom is “a problem to be solved in two seconds” if China so wished, Mr Trump had once told Chinese President Xi Jinping.

And in the Atlantic theatre, North Korea’s involvement in the Ukraine war – along with the reciprocal aid from Russia in nuclear capability and defence weaponry development – may now be a bargaining chip for Mr Putin to trade away. 

At the very least, the tap will be tightened. If the war in Ukraine ends, Russia has no need for North Korean munitions or cannon fodder. That would leave North Korea back at square one.

A chance for a deal?

Still, the search for an end to the Ukraine war provides a starting point for talks between the US and North Korea. 

There are signs that the US is open to and equipped for engagement with Mr Kim. Mr Trump has assembled a team which includes appointing Mr Richard Grenell, a former US ambassador to Germany, as presidential envoy for special issues including on North Korea. He has also picked Mr Alex Wong, a former deputy special representative for North Korea, as deputy national security adviser.

Sensing an opportunity, North Korea, too, might decide to take its chances and negotiate with the US, linking an end to its involvement in Ukraine with matters on the Korean peninsula. It has been trying to catch America’s eye, taunting the US since Mr Trump’s return by condemning the US’ Gaza takeover suggestion.

Why might it do that? A key problem with past Trump-Kim summits was the misalignment of expectations: The US expected “complete, verifiable and irreversible denuclearisation” or CVID, failing to recognise this contradicted Mr Kim’s desire for regime survival, in which the possession of nuclear weapons was critical.

The Ukraine war reinforced that belief in Mr Kim. Why should he repeat the disastrous mistake by Ukraine, which gave up its nuclear weapons in 1994 in exchange for a guarantee of its security and sovereignty, only to be invaded by Russia, a signatory to that agreement, twice in a decade?

That impediment appears removed, if Mr Trump’s recent comments recognising North Korea as a “nuclear power” becomes policy – an outcome made of the stuff of North Korea’s wildest dreams.

The US approach would then centre on arms control and non-proliferation. The questions to be resolved in any negotiation are how many warheads and what delivery systems Pyongyang should be allowed to possess.

The risk is that the superpowers might decide to answer that question themselves and arm-twist North Korea to accept terms. Its choices are limited and, so, it frets. Earlier, it could play the rogue-state card, assured of the backing of its powerful allies. But Mr Putin has bigger fish to fry now and Pyongyang may have to fall in line and accept harsher conditions than it wanted.

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In Seoul, fears of abandonment loom

Across the demilitarised zone on the 38th parallel, the mood is strikingly sombre, as fears of abandonment by the US and risks of getting sidelined grow. 

Mr Trump’s penchant for unpredictability and unilateralism, coupled with his transactional approach to foreign policy, exacerbates such anxieties.

“Allowing North Korea to develop nuclear weapons and leaving South Korea out of any US talks with North Korea are bright red lines for Seoul,” Professor Lee Shin-wha of the department of political science and international relations at the Institute for Interdisciplinary Unification Studies, and visiting scholar at the East Asian Institute, tells me.

Moving away from that sancrosanct goal of denuclearisation and letting North Korea keep its nukes opens a can of worms for Seoul.

South Korean soldiers watching a live-firing exercise with the US Army in Pocheon on Feb 10. PHOTO: BLOOMBERG

What if Washington trades off Seoul’s security for its own – and allows Mr Kim to keep his short-range missiles and other nuclear delivery systems capable of destroying his neighbour in return for dismantling his long-range missile capability that can reach the US?

What if Mr Kim demands that Mr Trump draw down the US military presence on the Korean peninsula in return? Can Seoul count on a man all too willing to do away with US-South Korea military drills in the past not to concede on its behalf?

For now, all Seoul can do is to give Mr Trump fewer reasons to cut it off after witnessing him threaten to let Russia have its way with Nato countries that do not “pay their dues”.

“South Korea understands the need for burden-sharing on defence and security, and is committed to raising its share of the cost of stationing US troops in the country,” Prof Lee highlights.

Regardless, it won’t be able to shake off the fear of winding up a price-taker presented with a fait accompli of accepting North Korea’s nuclear status.

“Denuclearisation of the Korean peninsula remains a goal that enjoys non-partisan consensus even if the political parties are divided on the pathway to achieving that,” Professor Park Hahn-kyu, dean of the college of international studies at Kyung Hee University, points out.

“Conservatives see North Korea as an enemy and prefer an approach of deterrence and pressure, whereas liberals tend to view them as siblings and think economic cooperation will create interdependence and growth that obliterate the need for nuclear weapons,” he says. 

No matter the means, extinguishing the threat of a nuclear attack from North Korea remains South Korea’s key objective. For a long time, the alliance with the US seemed the surest way of enabling that. But trust is the oil in that partnership, and that could be eroded.

Seoul sweats as it weighs uncomfortable options, chief of which is this: If the US cannot guarantee its security, should it go nuclear?

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Of princes and pawns

The emerging contours of a deal in Ukraine may also set the wheels in motion for a paradigm shift in US foreign policy towards the Korean peninsula – as one of investments in exchange for arms control. 

And unlike the Agreed Framework deal in place from 1994 to 2002, which froze North Korea’s nuclear power programme in exchange for energy aid from the US, today, Pyongyang has something the US wants.

Mr Scott Bessent, US Treasury Secretary, is in Ukraine this week to discuss US access to Ukraine’s rare earth minerals, a natural resource used in everything from smartphones to missile systems.

If Ukraine refuses, America has alternatives. Studies have suggested the world’s largest deposits lie in North Korea.

The US, too, could offer something Mr Kim wants: economic development. Notably, Mr Kim had publicly apologised to the North Korean people in February 2024; he said he was “ashamed and sorry” for neglecting rural development and promised to reverse the trend by building factories over the next 10 years.

A final note: This endeavour to figure out how the end of the Ukraine war might affect the trajectory of a 70-year-old Korean War frozen in time is admittedly largely guesswork.

Then again, there are no easy answers to a North Korean misfit that appears to have little choice other than to constantly use the threat of developing nuclear weapons to blackmail others to survive.

Whatever happens, the upcoming chat between Mr Trump and Mr Putin is a timely reminder of the influence developments in Europe can have in Asia, and the uncomfortable chokehold powerful countries have over others.

To paraphrase an old adage, the strong do what they want and the not-so-strong suffer what they must.

Lin Suling is senior columnist at The Straits Times.

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how to get pple to resign

The gut reaction that a manager has when an employee announces his or her resignation is telling. Sometimes it is genuine dismay: The person leaving is a star. Sometimes, disappointment is mixed with irritation at having to recruit and train a replacement. And sometimes, it is relief: the human resources equivalent of a pebble being removed from your shoe.

For Mr Elon Musk and his acolytes at the Department of Government Efficiency (Doge), employees of the federal government in America are pebbles all the way down. On Jan 28, the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) sent an e-mail to roughly two million workers offering them “deferred resignation”, the chance to resign and get paid until the end of September.

The legality of this offer is uncertain (on Feb 12, a judge allowed it to proceed). So is the end-goal: Bosses often use voluntary redundancy as a consensual way to cut headcount but the assumption is usually that they want the organisation itself to survive. Still, the episode raises an interesting question: Is there a good way to get workers to resign?

The openness of the OPM’s deferred-resignation offer is in its favour. Bosses have long adopted underhand tactics to encourage individuals to quit rather than have to sack them.

Some types of “quiet firing” reduce stimulation and status: Managers give their targets menial work to do or stick them in smaller and smaller offices until they end up feeling like a corporate version of Alice.

Other approaches set people up for failure: deadlines that cannot be met, weekly meetings at 3am to suit one colleague in Australia. Nudging people to resign by making life intolerable will not win you a manager-of-the-year award. Nor is it an efficient way to thin the ranks. Giving employees an explicit incentive to leave their jobs can be an effective way to separate the committed from the time-servers. Zappos and Amazon, two online retailers, have experimented with pay-to-quit programmes designed to winkle out new hires who are not motivated to stay.

When Mr Musk took over Twitter in 2022, he sent an e-mail with the same subject-line as the OPM’s missive, asking people to click on a link if they were ready to embrace his “hardcore” culture. Those that did not click were offered severance pay, though lawsuits continue from those who say they did not receive the money.

A pay-to-quit scheme makes it more costly for workers to feign enthusiasm for a job. But, as a paper by Professor Robert Dur and Dr Heiner Schmittdiel of Erasmus University Rotterdam points out, it can have unintended consequences if it is a standing offer: People may end up joining a firm in order to resign and get an exit bonus.

There may be a subtler and cheaper way to prompt resignations among people who are not a good fit. In a recent study by Professor Nava Ashraf and Professor Oriana Bandiera of the London School of Economics and Assistant Professor Virginia Minni and Professor Luigi Zingales of the University of Chicago, some employees of a consumer goods firm were asked to reflect on what mattered to them and whether their jobs fulfilled their individual sense of purpose. In the months following these workshops, exits from the company increased substantially among participants, compared with employees who did not take part, and did so particularly among lower performers. Productivity rose.

The success of a resignation offer depends partly on what kind of future awaits people who stay. The OPM e-mail warns government employees that there is more downsizing and restructuring to come. The people most likely to take the money in these circumstances are often strong performers, who have the best chance of landing a new job.

There is some indirect evidence for this effect in a recent paper by Ms Yuye Ding of the University of Pittsburgh and her co-authors, which looks at the effect of return-to-office (RTO) mandates on employee churn. Plenty of people suspect that bosses require people to come back into the office, partly in order to prompt resignations, and the evidence from the LinkedIn profiles of workers at financial and technology firms in the S&P 500 is that RTO mandates do cause turnover to spike. The authors also find that churn is greatest among women and among more experienced and skilled workers, and that firms subsequently have more trouble filling vacancies.

Such considerations may not matter much to the Doge folk, whose primary aim seems to be evisceration. But if you want to encourage resignations and end up with more wheat than chaff, it helps to have a compelling vision of the future. 

© 2025 THE ECONOMIST NEWSPAPER LIMITED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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ai reduces need to have libraries

SINGAPORE – In my school years, I kept a running log of quotes I wished to commit to memory. This, I stored on my laptop, long neglected, until the recent statement by Singapore writers criticising the National Library Board’s (NLB) use of artificial intelligence (AI) sent me scurrying back.

The entry I was looking for was extracted from a Guardian article on English writer and designer William Morris, a lifelong champion of craftsmanship.

Google had put up Morris-inspired doodles on its home page on the 182nd year of his birthday in 2016, inducing the journalist to ask: “It is fascinating that Google has created its Morris doodle at the same time that it is leading the world in artificial intelligence. How is AI going to change the world of work? Will human work as we know it vanish – and if so, what will people do? A utopian answer might be that all work becomes an art, and human potential is directed to the creation of beauty and happiness instead of mere things.”

Today, his prescient musings have become reality, except that, instead of leaving humanity time for higher-order pursuits, these are what AI seems to be cannibalising first.

Each technological advancement has hardly reduced the hours people commit to their jobs, with companies demanding ever higher levels of efficiency. There remains little appetite to be conscientious about beauty in the average worker.

Add to that a culture of instant gratification that has trained a preference for flat, functional communication instead of layered prose, and people now even prefer the aesthetic of machines to that of their fellow men.

A study at the University of Pittsburgh in 2024 found participants ranking AI-generated poems higher than those by William Shakespeare, Lord Byron and T.S. Eliot. The nail in the coffin? They often assessed that their choices were written by human poets.

In the spirit of thorough inquiry, I played the devil’s advocate. Students at secondary level already use calculators, so why should people limit themselves to the equivalent of an abacus?

Yet there is something about the sacrosanct nature of words, which underlies so much of human nature and society in the form of self-expression, dialogue, law, history, religion and ethics. The universe may be built on numbers, but human consciousness is founded on language.

Descartes’ timeless formulation of radical doubt, “I think, therefore I am”, is not just expressed in words. The very thought he is conscious of is moulded and possible only because of them.

A tool that actively erodes this core tenet of human nature represents a transmogrification of humanity that requires an imagination more expansive than mine to accept.

Part of the reason for the backlash against NLB is the overwhelmingly positive rhetoric at all levels surrounding the use of AI, which has taken over communications, design and outreach activities.

NLB is taking flak because it should be the custodian of books, human knowledge and literacy, especially critical when adult literacy levels here are subpar and worsening.

Since then, chief librarian Gene Tan has said that using AI with the permission of authors has helped to engage more than 2.5 million people, and that creative writing workshops using AI form just 4 per cent of NLB’s courses.

If anything comes of this furore, it should be that clearer direction and public communication are needed. Singapore cannot walk into an AI future with its eyes wide shut; a post-AI society would have no need for libraries anyway.

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