The 25-year-old’s eatery, BlackGoat, sells steak and burgers. But every year during the Islamic month of Ramadan, Mr Fikri – a former assistant chef with two Michelin-starred restaurants in Singapore – gives away food to those in need, regardless of race or religion.
Kindness can go hand in hand with the practicalities of running a business, and embodies the kampung spirit that helped forge Singapore.
In a divided world, kindness is often the middle ground that opens dialogue and soothes tension. It makes collaboration possible. This doesn’t arise by accident. It requires people to choose humility and grace.
Kindness is not merely courtesy or consideration, but courage, too – to see past assumptions, to disarm conflict with empathy, and to offer grace when it is not easy. In truth, kindness is an active, intentional stance. It is a choice to see the other as human first.
Yet, there is a common misconception that kindness is passive; a soft virtue ill suited to the rigours of modern life. In an era of algorithmic outrage and incentivised division, kindness must not be seen as weakness.
While globalisation has brought people of different cultures closer together, making our cities, workplaces and online spaces more diverse than ever, it has also resulted in more tension and misunderstanding. Global events further exacerbate divisions.
We do not have to look far for examples of where kindness is seen as weakness, and how this approach backfires.
Kindness in the community
In parenting, we find clear lessons. According to Unicef, studies show that strict parenting methods such as yelling may lead to desired short-term outcomes. But they often lead to anxiety, low self-worth or aggressive behaviour that could spell trouble in the long term. Children are less likely to process their emotions healthily, making it harder for them to build trusting relationships.
Kindness in parenting is not weakness. Positive parenting encourages a growth mindset and builds confidence. It is correlated with higher self-esteem in children, better academic outcomes and better mental and physical health in the long term.
Some may be quick to judge parents who take a “softer” approach, but words of kindness result in better long-term outcomes. Children who grow up in such environments are better-adjusted, more confident individuals.
At the recent International Conference on Cohesive Societies in Singapore, I discussed how kindness lays the foundation for shared values, allowing us to build cohesive, resilient societies anchored on a spirit of openness, learning together and mutual accommodation.
It begins with the recognition that our world view is not the only one. This, in turn, needs to be sustained by curiosity, empathy and the courage to reappraise our own biases.
Crucially, it requires listening. Not the kind of listening we do while waiting to speak, but real, active listening that seeks to understand context, history and lived experience.
There are many opportunities to foster kindness in our daily lives. This could involve simple acts like greeting our neighbours, offering help to someone in need, or taking the time to listen to a colleague’s perspective.
In our diverse communities, we can make an effort to learn about different cultures, participate in community events and engage in respectful dialogue about our differences. It’s something we should nurture in our youth from a young age through educational institutions as well.
Kindness at work
Similarly, we need to look at how working adults view kindness in Singapore.
The breakdown in kindness often shows up in everyday interactions at work, where colleagues are told off, bosses are blunt or employees feel sidelined. This often translates into a toxic work culture, where people neglect the warm gestures or kind words that can make a difference for someone.
If we were to let toxicity take root and fester in an organisation, that could lead to detrimental consequences. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, a toxic workplace environment negatively impacts employee engagement.
Additionally, organisational support increases employees’ engagement with their work, as well as with the organisation. Organisational support, in some ways, is also a form of kindness: letting employees know that their voices are heard, feedback is acted on and tangible change is observed.
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We often talk about cultural appreciation and diversity training at work, where they tend to be seen as one-off events, isolated from the reality of daily life. Shared understanding, which is the bedrock of kindness, must be a continuous effort.
In short, kindness allows employees to thrive.
In Australian company Moddex, the Thrive at Moddex programme was designed to allow direct input from employees to meet their needs. The programme covers financial and personal well-being, including mental health resources. Initiatives like these are relevant and impactful, in the way Moddex actively listens and responds to employees.
Workplaces need to be inclusive environments that celebrate diversity, encourage cross-cultural collaboration and connect people together. That’s when workers experience a shared sense of purpose and authentic belonging, where individual contributions feel meaningful within a collective mission. As a result, communication can become clearer, tasks can be completed faster due to clearer communication, and results therefore are better.
For a start, organisations can create an open and honest environment where feedback is viewed as means to improve, and not as criticism, which paradoxically impairs growth.
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Kindness as an indicator
We need to rethink how we measure societal progress. Alongside economic indicators, we should consider metrics that reflect the state of our social connections, the level of trust in our communities, and the degree of empathy for people who might be different from us.
Instead of just measuring progress by GDP growth, innovation milestones or technological breakthroughs, what if we also measured how well we treat one another? By how inclusive our communities are? By how often we choose kindness over convenience?
Take Bhutan’s Gross National Happiness, a development philosophy and measurement system. Holistic well-being of its people is prioritised over pure economic growth.
This is not to say economic growth is not important; rather, it’s about balancing economic progress with social, environmental and cultural well-being. Perhaps adapting from certain indicators from the measurement system could be included to better reflect the state of the country.
By making kindness and mutual understanding our priorities, we can create a future where technological advancement and human compassion go hand in hand.
It is a necessary path forward in our increasingly interconnected global society.
Let’s not just build a smarter world. Let’s build a kinder one.
Michelle Tay is the executive director of the Singapore Kindness Movement, where she leads the organisation’s efforts to promote kindness and civic-mindedness in Singapore.
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