He cried three times that day. Shortly after the school day ended, he took his life. He was 11.
In 2024, the year Yong Le died, there were 314 suicide deaths, a provisional number that will be updated in 2026.
Still, for the sixth consecutive year, suicide remained the leading cause of death among young people aged 10 to 29 in Singapore, a persistent and tragic trend.
The day it happened
In a recent interview, Yong Le’s father, who requested anonymity to safeguard the privacy of his family, said his son sobbed when he was asked to find the missing item, which he had apparently hidden in the school’s garden.
He and his teachers could not locate it, and it is unclear whether Yong Le had actually taken the item.
He was subsequently asked to write a statement about what he had done, and his school bag was searched. He became upset and cried again.
He then returned to class to complete a practice paper before attending another class.
After the last lesson of the day, the boy was asked to apologise to his classmate outside the classroom. He cried a third time.
His father, 42, said that their family was blindsided and that the boy did not have depression.
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According to the teachers, he stopped crying each time and he appeared “okay” after that, said his father, a former software platform architect, who now trades on the United States financial markets at night.
Together with his wife, 40, who is a homemaker, he has two other sons, the eldest of whom is on the autism spectrum, and two daughters. Yong Le was the second of five children.
There was a call that day, but the teacher could not reach the parents by phone and texted to ask for a good time to call.
Yong Le’s father works nights and typically handles communication with the children’s school, and so his wife set the call for 4pm by text.
“We didn’t know he was disciplined in school. We didn’t know he was crying in school... Around 2.30pm, a phone call came from the school, and said he was found at the void deck,” Yong Le’s father said.
“Then the hospital called. They asked us, ‘Are you here? Are you here? We are trying to save your son.’ I had just woken up and I rushed down... When I reached the hospital... the tube was already disconnected.”
He loved his pet snails
Yong Le’s father said his son had gone to school happy that day, as he was looking forward to getting a new aquatic snail in the evening.
Yong Le loved his 40 small pet snails. He named all of them, and he alone could tell them apart.
He excelled in maths and science, often topping his class. However, he sometimes fell asleep during lessons, telling his father that he found them slow and boring.
He appeared “very chill” but was an emotionally sensitive boy, said his father.
“If his ting xie (Chinese spelling) was not good, never mind. When his teacher scolded him in class: ‘Why are you sleeping again? Can you wake up?’, never mind. When his friend pushed him down the staircase one time... he was also quite okay (about it),” said the father.
“He’s the quiet type, so people see him as very chill, until he suddenly breaks. Like once, when one of his favourite snails died, he cried for it, and he cried for hours.”
Yong Le also enjoyed his food.
His parents filled his coffin to the brim with his favourite foods, including a big tub of chilli crab, Nissin instant noodles and bottles of Coca-Cola, and other things.
Describing Yong Le as “an old man in a young boy’s body”, his father said Yong Le preferred to play video games or draw in a quiet space than go on outings. He would go on solitary walks once or twice a month. He also liked going to the library, and reading books on physics, microbiology and philosophy.
“He was just not interested in worldly things... When I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up... he said a ‘job at McDonald’s, food to eat and a bed to sleep in, can already’.”
Yong Le was very smart but wanted a simple life, and was still learning to deal with the world’s complexities, his father said.
The few times that he was overcome with emotion, he would go to his room to calm down and rest.
“Unfortunately, that day, in school, he didn’t have the safe bedroom and a blanket to crawl under,” said his father.
One thing that Yong Le’s father hopes for is greater empathy in the school disciplinary process, particularly those involving sensitive children.
While discipline is important, the child’s mental health should be prioritised when there are multiple crying episodes, he said.
Fully aware that suicide is complex, he said that he and his wife do not blame the teachers or school, but they hope to see more understanding for children who have a sensitive nature, like Yong Le.
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Suicide is complex
Dr Jared Ng, a seasoned psychiatrist who was the founding chief of the Department of Emergency and Crisis Care at the Institute of Mental Health, said that among children and young people, suicide can sometimes be a highly impulsive act, triggered by acute emotional pain or a stressful incident that feels overwhelming in the moment.
“Young people are more vulnerable in this way because they tend to be more impulsive, and also because their coping mechanisms and life experiences are still developing,” he said.
Yet, even when suicide looks impulsive, it usually occurs against a backdrop of vulnerabilities that have been present for some time, he said.
Many who die by suicide have underlying mental health conditions, ongoing stress in their lives, or struggles with self-esteem and isolation, he added.
“In the days and weeks before death, it is not uncommon to see warning signs such as changes in mood, withdrawal, recklessness or expressions of despair,” said the founder of Connections MindHealth, a private clinic.
“The acute trigger may be the final straw, but it lands on ground that is already fragile. Suicide is rarely the result of a single cause.”
Dr Ng said it is important to remember that what one child finds stressful, another may not, so adults should not be too quick to judge or dismiss a child’s concerns.
Sometimes, children also hide their emotions from their parents, either because they do not want to cause worry or fear being reprimanded.
“This is why prevention also lies in the broader circle of friends, peers and teachers. Schools and families play a vital role in recognising signs of distress, whether repeated crying, withdrawal or sudden changes in behaviour, and responding with empathy rather than discipline alone,” Dr Ng said.
Open communication between teachers and parents is also crucial.
“For all of us, reinforcing the message to young people that it is safe to reach out for help when they feel overwhelmed can make the difference between life and death,” Dr Ng said.
“Ultimately, whether a suicide is impulsive or not, what matters most is that children and youth feel heard, understood and supported. Every expression of distress is a call for help that deserves to be taken seriously.”
Yong Le died on July 29, 2024.
A pic of Yong Le taken in 2015, when he was three. PHOTO: COURTESY OF THE GOH FAMILY
In May, Yong Le’s parents found some form of closure when the coroner released his findings.
His report said that the boy was in a state of emotional distress and made the decision to end his life shortly after school.
Yong Le’s father said he is advocating better care in schools and the community to prevent similar incidents.
There has been some change. For instance, Yong Le’s school now holds questioning, or what it terms as fact-finding sessions, outside of the conference room, in non-intimidating spaces, he said.
Still, safety records could be made a key performance indicator for educators and schools, to encourage them to always prioritise keeping children safe, Yong Le’s father said.
When incidents occur in school, parents should be notified in detail and promptly, he added.
Yong Le’s father said he would agree to the interview with The Straits Times, so long as the story did not ascribe blame to the teachers, school or anyone in particular.
He hopes that his son’s story can help raise awareness of the need for the community to watch out for highly sensitive children.
“I can’t bring back my kid, but, at least, I can help to save other kids.”
If you or a young person you know is in crisis, please seek immediate help.
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Joyce Teo is senior health correspondent at The Straits Times and the host of ST podcast series Health Check.
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